Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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