God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
