I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
