I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
