just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
