Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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