I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
