You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
