that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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