You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
