I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
