So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
