i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
