i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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