we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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