he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
