Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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