I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
