how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
