I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
