I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
