...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
