Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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