Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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