What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
