we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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