So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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