Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
