hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
