YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
