i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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