I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
