So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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