I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
