sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
