That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
