at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
