I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
