dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
