Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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