dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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