I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
