the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
