Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
