bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He felt like a one man threesome
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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