I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
