I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
