That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
