I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
