she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
