You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
