How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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