i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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