We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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