It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
