careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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