I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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