About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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