he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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