I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We don't watch enough power rangers
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
