Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Someone signed my nipple.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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