i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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