oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
soo... how was my night?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
