dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
