so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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