Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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