i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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