If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
