your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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