one two three fourrrrnication!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just had sex on a roof
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
