i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish you could order shots online.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Randomize
