38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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