so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize